American Pie ( Page 1 )
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Flirt/Funny/Relationships
Oz: [On being sensitive to women] All you got to do is to ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit.
Stifler: I don’t know, man. That...sounds like a lot of work!
Stifler: I don’t know, man. That...sounds like a lot of work!
Funny
Jim: Did you see 'The Little Mermaid' on TV yesterday? Ariel, she's so hot!
Oz: She's a mermaid, dude.
Jim: Yeah, but not when she's on land, Oz.
Oz: She's a mermaid, dude.
Jim: Yeah, but not when she's on land, Oz.
Funny/Rated R
Oz: Dude, is there anything you don't jerk off to?
Jim: Of course there is. C-Span.
Jim: Of course there is. C-Span.
Internet
God bless the Internet.
Finch
Finch
Rated R/Funny
Jim: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
Kevin: You want to take this one?
Oz: Like warm apple pie.
Jim: Yeah?
Oz: Yeah.
Jim: Apple pie, huh?
Oz: Uh huh.
Jim: McDonald's or homemade?
Kevin: You want to take this one?
Oz: Like warm apple pie.
Jim: Yeah?
Oz: Yeah.
Jim: Apple pie, huh?
Oz: Uh huh.
Jim: McDonald's or homemade?
Insult/Rated R
I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fuckin use them!
Stifler
Stifler
Rated R
Vicky: I want it to be the right time, the right place.
Jessica: It's not a space shuttle launch; it's sex.
Jessica: It's not a space shuttle launch; it's sex.
Insult/Rated R
I'll see you guys tonight, in the "No Fucking Section", right?
Stifler
Stifler
Rated R/Relationship/Guys
Vicky: Maybe the words aren't that important. It's, like, I know he really cares about me, you know, even if he can't say if he does. And yeah, he always talks about sex, but that's ok ‘cause he's a guy, right?
Jessica: He's got a dick, he's a guy.
Jessica: He's got a dick, he's a guy.
Rated R/Guys
No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! From now on, we fight for every man out there who isn't getting laid when he should be! This is our day! This is our time! And, by God, we're not gonna let history condemn us to celibacy! We will make a stand! We will succeed! We will get laid!
Kevin
Kevin
Rated R/Band
Michelle: Oh! And this one time... at band camp... I stuck a flute in my pussy!
Jim: Excuse me?
Michelle: What? You think I don't know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half of band camp is... sex-ed. So are we gonna screw soon, 'cause I'm getting kind of antsy!
Jim: Excuse me?
Michelle: What? You think I don't know how to get myself off? Hell, that's what half of band camp is... sex-ed. So are we gonna screw soon, 'cause I'm getting kind of antsy!
Ditzy/Funny
She called me and asked for my number.
Stifler
Stifler
Rated R/Funny
Oz: Suck me beautiful.
College Girl: What did you just say?
Oz: Suck me beautiful! Friends call me Nova as in Casanova.
College Girl: That's pathetic!
Oz: Jeez, you don't have to laugh at me.
College Girl: What did you just say?
Oz: Suck me beautiful! Friends call me Nova as in Casanova.
College Girl: That's pathetic!
Oz: Jeez, you don't have to laugh at me.
College/Rated R
You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.
Jim
Jim
Rated R
Jessica: You've never had an orgasm? Not even manually?
Vicky: I've never tried it.
Jessica: You've never double-clicked your mouse?
Vicky: I've never tried it.
Jessica: You've never double-clicked your mouse?
